How NOT to be "green"

Feb

When can we expect to see these as the standard police car?

If you’re tired of reading and hearing stuff like:

Oh you should turn that light off
You should really walk instead
You should turn your computer off
Buy a Prius and save the planet
The polar bears will die tomorrow if you don’t sell all your electronics and go live in a tree.

Then you will love this article. Okay maybe you haven’t heard all those things but you get the point. I’m all for people taking steps to reduce their carbon footprint, now this is not steps that bumps them back to the stone-age simply just things that they can do without actually making their lives worse. Just saying carbon footprint almost made me puke a little.

I thought it would be time to get some balance in all the pro-global-warming blog posts all over the internet. So like a scale we have to balance the two sides and this is the counterweight to blog-posts like these: “Want to argue about Global Warming? There’s an app for that” and “Global Warming: Technology vs. Choice”.

Things to do if you want to go anti-green

Leave all your lights turned on – 24/7
Buy some new lamps and set them up outside so the bugs can have a party
Leave your car running when you go into a store
Turn your AC on max roll down your windows and drive down the highway
Buy a universal TV-remote and go around your neighborhood at night and turn on all the televisions
Turn your heater to the max and go around naked
Steal a tray on Monday just before Trayless-Tuesday
Green is NOT the new black – Brown is
Buy a chainsaw and go cut down some of those new wind turbines near you
Make your own steam room/sauna in your bathroom. Turn on the water at the warmest and leave it running for a day or two.
Join the Anti-Green Movement
Buy a Lamborghini Murciélago and use it to the max – everyday!
Build a house just like Mukesh Ambani’s residence Antilia
Buy a private jet and use it – a lot! Not just for vacations and overseas trips, no for everything!
Buy stocks in General Motors and make them build cars like in the good ol’ days